Sunday, March 7, 2010

Mama Bean realizes (anew) that the Internet has business hours

The internet is not the TechnoUniverse that never sleeps. At least, not the way I use it. I have lamented (truly) sites that don't update on weekends, especially during periods of unemployment, which made me LOL (IRL, not just the figurative internet "out loud") at this toothpastefordinner strip. But even on weekdays, most sites update once a day. The good ones. Considering the bulk of my daily internetting is blogs, I'm looking at new content from half my sites every other day. Maybe. Even on, which has a group of submitters, or gossip sites like Evil Beet, I'm easily able to read through a day's content in one sitting. I don't know why I check my sites compulsively multiple times a day. Only lemondrop and ONTD post in such a serial fashion that I can't keep up. They are true time wasters for idle time only. Which I don't really have anymore. (I might ask myself if I every really did, or just used sites like this to Avoid. But the answer would be so obvious to even the casual observer that I wouldn't bother after all.)

The bottom line is I surf more hours in the day than I should. The other thing is, I picked the worst (or best?) time of day to restrict my usage. It's like television, prime time is after 7 pm. Without that, I go online in the mornings, which should be Productivity time. Bean's newest schedule change is having his fifth eating, staying awake for an hour or so, and going to sleep until after 11 pm. Then he has his sixth feeding and goes down till morning. This leaves the evening open and free, so after Lent, this will be when I can computerate to my heart's content. But for now, I think about how my time is not my own, it is God's. He gives me my evenings, and my days. He gives me my son to sleep or not to sleep.

On the water-only front, all's well and good. Had a real craving yesterday when feeling super thirsty, and only wanted sugar water to quench it. Papa Bean and I have developed some bad dessert-eating habits, I fear in compensation for our deprivations. This is counterproductive, both to any potential weight loss from dropping calorie-laden drinks (for me) and meat (for him), and more importantly to any spiritual growth that Lenten sacrifice is meant to encourage. But then, he has become so good at cooking soup, good hearty filling meal-like soups. Necessity/mother/invention, etc.

I can't say these are terribly deep reflections of any great spiritual significance. I'm not trying, if I'm being honest, to get much beyond whining about how this-is-hard, and I-am-weak. There's still time before Easter, perhaps I need to set aside some time to really reflect, or something.

I am finding great satisfaction in this blog, and am constantly composing posts in my head. And by constantly I mean, while breastfeeding, which feels constant, because I'm practically doing it every hour and a half. (That's only a teeny exaggeration, and let's not dwell on how much I can never spell that word correctly.) I do get pretty meta about the whole blogging process, also, so without getting overly pretentious, I intend to write about writing, or something like that, soon. Creating stuff, whether it's making music, or building a scrapbook, or writing a post - feels spiritual to me, and I want to explore why and how. Creativity is something that simultaneously brings me deeper into myself (sometimes not for better, as in, towards self-centred sort of navel gazing) and further into community (or communities, of mothers and Christians and general netizens). As much as I gave up some stuff for Lent, I think the more important development has been starting this blog around the same time, and that may be where the true faith related growth occurs.

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