Saturday, January 30, 2010

Mama Bean thanks everyone for the birthday well wishes

So, it's my birthday. My birthday is a big deal to me, because it's a day all about me. The princess in me wants every day to be all about me, but on my birthday, that wish is much more likely to come true. Especially when your husband is as sweet and loving as Papa Bean. (That's his blog name, do you like it? Mine is Mama Bean, as you can tell from the title.)It was a pretty low key day, but there was laziness, chicken wings, and ice cream involved, which made it more or less perfect.

Plus, my son was around, being all cute and stuff.

My son.

Yeah, I had that other Birth Day recently, too. I don't want to spew cliches all over the world-wide-web-of-all-the-other-mom-blogs, but... well, it really was the most amazing, important, miraculous day of my life up to then. And then each new day is just another amazing, important miracle. Even my birthday, which is All About Me, becomes about him, and what he brings to this birthday that wasn't here last time - smiles, cuddles, love. The importance of my milestones and celebrations feels a little secondary, because all it really means is I'm still here, for another day, to live for him. To feed him, and clothe him, to play with him, and nurture him, to laugh with him, and love him.

I felt the same thing after getting married. My birthday became a celebration of another year of days to spend together, loving each other and building a life together. I often feel like the events of my life are less important when separated from the context my marriage. Like, it (whatever it is) doesn't really matter until I've shared it with Papa Bean. I don't mean that in an abasing way, like, oh my life is so unimportant and worthless. I mean the value of our partnership is more important to me than my life, on its own, just me.

So, my birthday is still all about me, continuing to live another day for my family, loving them, and building our life together. Because now, the value of our family is so much more important to me than my life, just me, on my own. And for that I am thankful, which is a pretty good status to have on my birthday.

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