Mama Bean had her last midwife appointment yesterday

And I feel like I've lost a friend. Or, actually, like five friends. My whole little midwife family. It's just sad to know that I won't really have any reason to contact these women again in my life, and yet they've been a part of the most incredible things in my life, my children. And those children connect us in a very intimate way, but not in a way that allows for ongoing relationship. I want to be their real friend! lol... wistful lol...

I'm sure they experience this quite often. Every client is entrusting them with a huge responsibility, and a lot of access to their most personal moments (not to mention anatomy) and part of the midwifery model is fostering this sort of friendship-care type of relationship. I have often wondered if my patients have this feeling; I mean, I am their only chiropractor, but they are not my only patient. These women are my special midwives, but I am not their only pregnant lady. They have lots of pregnant ladies. And they make us all feel so very loved. I imagine that can get pretty exhausting...

*****

During Bean's delivery, in the pushing part, Midwife Li encouraged me by repeating, "That's the way" in that super calm and soothing voice that midwives have copyrighted or something, and I just loved that, because, seriously, I had no freaking clue what I was doing, or if it was working, and it really felt like it wasn't working, like it was distinctly NOT working (but of course it was, and she knew that) so it was really good that she told me I was doing the right thing, because otherwise, I dunno. I might have stopped. And then where would we be?

I thought this was like some special Midwife Li thing to say, and maybe even just special to my delivery, like I was especially doing things in The Way that was the definitive Way of pushing, and so she felt compelled, especially for me, to affirm that what I was doing was in fact The Way. In hindsight, this is ludicrous. When I helped my friend N deliver her little Bee, the L&D nurse said the same thing to her during pushing. And when I delivered Sprout, Midwife Ca, a completely different midwife, said the same thing to me. So it is not some special midwife phrase concocted only for me, it is simply the standard pushing-a-baby-out phrase that is, ultimately, the exact thing all pushing-a-baby-out women need to hear. That is The Way. Keep going.

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Sprout is doing very well, and our final midwife appointment gave us the empirical facts to confirm it. She has lengthened by 1.5" and weighs in at a hefty 10 lbs 12 oz. Which was a full pound heavier than I thought she would be. Two and a half weeks before, she was 9 lbs 1 oz, which was really great weight gain and I was very happy. I would have been happy with a 12-13 oz gain from that appointment, but she put on 27 instead. She is a much chubbier baby than Bean ever was, he of the painstaking weight-tracking and nerve-wracking percentiles. She has rolls I merely envied on other people's babies. It's a little odd, having such a baby looking baby this time around. It is only accentuating the fact that she is growing too. damn. fast.

Seriously, she's almost two months old. I'm just gonna go, like, cry a little. Or a lot.

*****

This time, I will send the midwives a thank-you card. Can you believe I didn't do that last time? Please don't judge me. I feel like a horrible person every time I think of it. So I'm gonna make amends and send them a super-duper-awesome card this time. Or some extra-gushy fangirl type letter that will make them feel awkward from the sheer force of my affections. It's hard to capture our gratitude - how do you thank someone for walking with you to outer space and back? Twice...? I'll do my best, but I know it won't be enough. I hope they feel it in the waves of the Universe whenever I look at my beautiful children, and my heart (stomach, toes, liver...) whisper a(nother) little thank-you up to the wind.