Mama Bean posts links on Friday - March 5, 2010

-Technically, I put this link on my facebook last week, so it should have been on last Friday's Link Love, but I missed it. It's a little video of the machines inside our bodies. Super cute and well executed. I really loved my anatomy and physiology courses at Chiropractic college.

-Bea Arthur Mountains Pizza. Bea! Arthur! Mountains! Pizza! Does that sound like all of the most awesome things ever in one awesome site? It should, because that's what it is. Go waste some time.

-I mentioned John Piper last week. He's a little more conservative than I am, but I still find his sermons and writings well argued and compelling. Papa Bean has been learning and writing about the early Bible stories in his classes this semester, and thinking about these same questions of a violent God. This is Piper's take on how God could kill women and children in the Old Testament.

-The Nickel Arts Museum at the University of Calgary had a validation machine as part of an exhibit. My friend K's then fiance (now husband) Jim got me a ticket punched by the machine that says "You are loved." I think it's still in my bible, or an album somewhere. This video, called Validation, is a really beautiful love story that makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. (Also, the guy in the video played Dr. Bobolik on Nip/Tuck seasons 1-3.)

-This image is a brief recap of the typical life. Friend K, from above, said she would add "eternal and ever-deepening happiness" after "commitment" which I guess lets the rest of us know how that marriage to Jim is going. (By the way, the haha.nu site at which the bulk of these links are found is, obvs, totally excellent. They post 5-10 things a day, from funny videos to cute picture sets. I don't know where they find it all. Also, it's not based in North America, so sometimes the engrish in the commentary is amusement in itself.)

-Welcome to your new web addiction, Young Me/Now Me. As Jennifer commented, "Can't... stop... looking..." and it's so true. I like everything about this competition/collection of people's recreations of pictures from their youth. I like how it's young-now, not young-old or then-now. I like the head shots of baby photos vs. adults, where you can see how their eyes and smiles stay more or less the same through out life. I like the happenstance "recreations" where it's obvious the person (or, more likely, their family and friends) stumbled on two pictures of them being goofy as an adult in exactly the same way they were goofy as a child. I like the clever replacements, a cigarette and martini in place of a baby bottle, pizza and beer instead of birthday cake. I like it all. And now you will, too.

-Another haha.nu short film called Accro. The site reposts videos from its Shorts series pretty regularly, which is nice, because I like to revisit internet gems without having to bookmark everything obsessively. Although, let's be honest, I'm pretty good at obsessing. This video is kind of depressing, very existential-what-is-the-point-of-our-futile-existence. But the animation is so cute, and the depiction is so clever. I mean, this is art, right? This is depicting your reality, communicating it meaningfully, so it speaks to a shared reality. That's how I see it, anyway.

-I've been reading Dr. Amy Tuteur's blog, the Skeptical OB, for a little while. I probably found it during my research of homebirth, because Dr. Amy is a strong proponent of conventional medical management of birth, and actively (accrimoniously?) against homebirth. I don't agree with everything she says (obviously) but I appreciate her straightforward approach to reading scientific literature. I think lay persons, meaning non scientists, can really benefit from approaching media reports of scientific findings more critically. I linked to her post on snowplow parents. The next step after helicopter parents (those who hover), these parents simply plow all obstacles and troubles ahead of their children, so they never need strive or struggle. It's an interesting term. Enjoy. Oddly, the only person who "liked" this on my facebook is not, as far as I know, a parent or parent-to-be.

-I don't know who Nerina Pallot is, and I don't care to wiki it right now. She covered Poker Face, and wore a cat hat while doing so. She blathers, that's the only word for it, a good long time at the beginning of the video, so just fastforward until it looks like she's going to put on the hat and start singing, and start from there.

-You don't even have to click on this one, I'll just repost it here: "After accidentally offending someone, I want them to understand: I didn't mean it. But when I'm offended - who cares what they meant?!" This is Abraham Piper's (at 22words) suggestion that we all change our reaction to feeling offended. I love this blog.

-Oh goodness, alright, I'm limiting future haha.nu posts to, like, one a week. This is the OK Go video for This Too Shall Pass. It's a giant Rube Goldberg machine they orchestrated in a warehouse. It is The Awesome. I mentioned on facebook that OK Go and Rube Goldberg machines remind me of my friend Mike, to which he replied (of the video), "whoa... best pythagoras switch ever!" which is another name for Rube Goldbergs (or Heath Robinson contraptions, for our UK readers. Ha! As if... .) Because Mike is a tinkery kind of inventor-like kind of guy, and naturally he would know the synonyms for these things. Mike is also The Awesome. He once told me his plans to make biodiesel from yard waste in his basement.

-First, a Dr. Amy link, then a Science-Based Medicine link. I don't know why I read these blogs of allopathic superheroes who denigrate my profession and birthing choices, but I check them every day. This post is about Chiropractic, so I had a vested interested in reading the article, and the comments. I thought my chiro-college facebookers would comment more, but 'twas not to be. I'm interested in reading Sam Homola's books, Inside Chiropractic and Bonesetting, Chiropractic, and Cultism. I have struggled professionally with the subluxation concept, and how it translates to my day-to-day practice life. Anyway, sorry if there were too many boring science-y healthcare posts this week.

Mama Bean wonders if she's working too hard at this

Bean is not gaining weight as fast as he "should." I didn't know this was something I'm supposed to obsess about, but now that I do, I am throwing the full weight of my neurotical capacity behind it. Neurotical - it's like nautical, but even more queasy. For his age, he "should" be gaining 3-4 oz. or maybe 4-6 oz, I don't know, baby-pundit sources conflict. From last Wednesday to this Wednesday, he gained slightly more than an ounce.

A single ounce.

Bean was 7 lbs 4 oz at birth, which is right at the median. We worked so hard at the breastfeeding, I was happy he gained weight at all. In fact, he lost less weight in the first three days than the midwife expected, and then gained steadily afterward, though slowly. He was always one or two ounces lighter than I wanted as the first six weeks went by. After that his care was transferred from the midwives to the MD (so sad, our last visit with the midwife. I wish we could go to them forever.)

At his two month check-up, his weight fell at the 25th percentile, while his height was above 50th. This was worrisome, but I guess I thought since he was happy and making pees and poos and eating on a nice regular schedule that he was, y'know, happy and healthy and getting bigger at the rate he was supposed to. He ate six times a day, when most babes his age are probably still eating seven or eight times. But he slept through the night, and that just seemed too great a blessing to give up.

By his four month check-up, he was still hovering at that 25th percentile. I know as long as they stay at the same percentile, and don't drop, it's probably okay, but still. I worry. Duh. At the same time, L invited me to the weekly breastfeeding clinic. I so wish I'd been going to this all along. The weekly weigh-in really is the best way to know he's getting enough food. Anyway, that first week, he showed a weight loss, but I think that's because the scale at the doctor's office is totally archaic, and the breastfeeding nurses have a lovely digital one. I asked the nurses about the whole deal and they suggested adding a feeding.

So that's what I did. Bean has, for now, a very predictable schedule through the day. He wakes from a nap, eats, stays awake and active for an hour and a half or so, gets cranky, goes for another nap for about an hour or so, wakes up to eat again. Now I feed him when he wakes from a nap, and feed him when he gets cranky before his next nap. Essentially, he getting two feedings in a three hour period instead of one, two or more times per day now. I thought this was going to be awesome, and he was chubbing up before my very eyes.

Only, he wasn't. Well, he chubbed up by a whole ounce. The public health nurse was super nice about it, suggested adding a night feeding or a night pumping and giving him the extra during the day, etc. I'm just going to keep doing the extra feedings before naps, and we'll hope it starts to produce results.

Mama Bean wants you to know that $10 bar of soap is sooOOoooo worth it

Papa Bean is exceedingly fond of soaps like Irish Spring and Zest. (Remember the commercials? So Refreshing! So Clean! This soap will change your life!) He likes their texture (?) and smell. He likes that they rinse clean, unlike moisturizing bars, but not too clean, like glycerin soaps. But mostly he likes that you can get a dozen bars for less than $4, including tax. He's frugal, this husband of mine.

I don't mind them. I mean, they get the job done. They are aromatically overwhelming, in a men's cologne kind of way, but I can deal. Obviously, if I had my druthers, we'd be using more expensive, girly soaps. But that would be fiscally irresponsible. Or would it?

My first real job (as in, taxes taken off my paycheque job, not babysitting or teaching piano) was at The Body Shop, over the Christmas season my first year of university. (Yeah, my first job was in university, what of it?) This is where my affection for all things fruity smelling and candy coloured in my bathroom started. Remember the glory that was Satsuma bubble bath? or Dewberry shower gel? Oh, the scents of my youth. I won't get into how I got hooked by a corporate culture only to be disappointed by their future profit motivated direction (Have I told you about the time I worked by Starbucks? No?) But this was the tipping point for my addiction to the embellished showering experience.

I have always loved the whole showering process, but I think it's even more precious now that I'm a mom. The comfort and refreshment and relaxation and cleanliness are enhanced somehow, but I think it's the solitude I treasure most. At least for now (maybe it will change when Bean gets bigger) I can close the door and ignore everyone else but me for half and hour. Heck, ten minutes is a blessing. It's princess time, and it heals me. During the Delirious Early Days, before I discovered nursing pads, I would walk around in the same crusty shirt, dripping breast milk almost constantly, thinking this was good for my nipples or something, I don't know. Showering was the only time I could be milk free. I could just let it drip into the flow and get washed away. My new sticky-free (spit-up free, urine-free) status would only last a half hour at most, but oh what a glorious half hour it was.

Because he loves me, Papa Bean got me soap from Lush for my birthday. He said I deserved to pamper myself. I've never owned anything from Lush before. Growing up, no trip to Ye Quainte Olde Towne of Banffe was complete without a stop at the Lush store. It all seemed far too sophisticated and expensive for me, and I still feel a little intimidated walking in there. I can't imagine how Papa Bean felt going in there all by his lonesome, but he braved it for me, and I'm so glad he did.

Adding to the joy of cleanliness is reason enough to splurge on soap, for me, but now we have compelling evidence for Papa Bean as well. It turns out handmade soaps aren't just luxurious and silky and gloriously scented, it turns out they also last longer. We would go through one of those cheap deodorant bars in a little more than a week. The bar I snaggled from a patient gift at Christmas lasted over six weeks. The hundred gram chunk of chocolate-scented (yummmm...) Lush soap has lasted four weeks already. They even feel more substantial, dense and hard. The irregular shapes from Lush are great because the bumpy surface gives a bit of a massage as you use it. This doesn't make them cheaper than the cheapest-soap-evAR, but it does make the price tag easier to swallow. It also means my birthday present is going to last a long time. By the time I've used it up, I'll have enough money to buy some more. And that is enough about soap for one week!

Mama Bean discovered dish soap works on poo

We discovered this two ways, but the baby-related way is much more exciting. None of it should have come as a surprise. I am a former chemist, I understand how soap works. Different cleaners are tailored to their intended purpose. Bar soap for skin, laundry detergent for oil and dirt, dish soap for organic matter, like food. And poop.

The toilet in our over-50-year-old house tends to, um, clog. We bought a snake and everything, to no avail. Plumbers make snaking look easy, but it is not. Nor is it fun. I can understand why they might want upwards of a gazillion dollars an hour to do that with other people's shit on weekends. Anyway, the Great and Wonderful internet provided Papa Bean with a tip to use a cup or so of liquid dish soap, let it sit, then try flushing. We combined this with another tip to pour buckets of hot water (not necessarily boiling but hotter than you'd put your bare hand in) down the toilet, let it sit, then try flushing. We discovered the pipe in the basement where the toilet drains stayed hot before the clog, and normal temperature after it. We did the whole routine twice, and the second time the whole pipe got hot, so the blockage was dissolved or whatever by the combination of soap and thermal energy. Awesome!

Also, we got tired of baby poo staining Bean's clothes. The pigmented compounds in this stuff are astounding! They are utterly impervious to normal laundry detergent, stain removers, scrubbing, hot water, etc. Papa Bean asked facebook and twitter for suggestions. Responses ranged from let the sun bleach it out, to who cares baby clothes get stained that's life. S told us dish soap might work, so I gave it a try. It definitely works on fresh stains if you scrub them right away, and it even worked a little on older stains, including some that had already been washed and dried. Colour me impressed.

So far, the whole fecal side of parenthood has been okay. Bean doesn't poop that often, maybe every other day at most, which is normal for breastfed babies, and it means I don't have to clean up crap that often. When he was quite small, he had a few uber poop fountains that we just found hilarious, although it could have been the sleep deprivation and general Delirium. There was one week long stretch where we succumbed to first-time parent paranoia, went to see a walk-in doctor, got some glycerin suppositories, which worked beautifully, and haven't worried about it since. I will also adjust him if he seems especially fussy when working on farts or poops, and sometimes that encourages things along. Lately, his poop has been stinkier (milk poo doesn't really smell all that bad. Kind of yeasty. Yup, that's what I've got for TMI Tuesday, yeasty poo) and darker and runnier. It also smells vinegar-ish, and does seem more irritating on his little tush. I don't think he's sick or anything, and I don't think it's anything I have or have not been eating, but I am keeping mental track of it.

Can I just say something about the whole what-you've-been-eating-effect-on-your-milk thing? I hate it. I mean, I get guilt complexes about the most neurotic stuff, so that last thing I need is yet another blame thing wrapped around all the rhetoric and blame things already surrounding the Feeding of the Blessed Babies. When Bean is fussy, or farty, or burpy, or constipated, or whatever, I wonder why, because I've never had a baby, and these are the Mysteries of Motherhood. Possible reasons might be a) he's a baby, and b) he's never done this ingesting/digesting/egesting thing before either. We're all learning together. So don't jump the gun on me, and automatically answer my innocent wonderings with accusations of maybe it's all the milk/beans/broccoli/meat/wheat/etc. you've been eating. Maybe it is. Maybe I'll figure that out because I'm an intelligent, analytical person capable of recognizing patterns. Maybe I don't need you all up in my nutritional business! Maybe.... maybe I need to take a few deep breaths.

This is how we go crazy, isn't it? I know they're not "accusations" and I know folks are just trying to help. A mom can know many sane and rational things, and still feel otherwise. Anyway, I just try to be careful, when the tables are turned, that my offerings of concern or advice or things-that-worked-for-me don't come across as you're-doing-it-wrong or this-way-is-the-best-and-only-way. Because there are a bazillion ways to raise a child and still have them turn out spectacular. Resilient little buggers that they are. After all, anything that can produce the Most Staining Substance Known to Mankind must be made of pretty strong stuff.

Mama Bean ate a milkshake

I slipped up a couple times this week. I got halfway through the McDonald's milkshake before realizing it was a drink-that-wasn't-water. Papa Bean assured me it was more like eating ice cream, but still, it was something taken by straw. And the only thing I am to take by straw is water. But it was tasty. Repentently so. I also unwittingly hopped on a friend's computer during our scrapbooking evening to look at funny videos and mls properties. And then the next evening, I used the 'puter to manage pictures, because that's part of scrapbooking also, the pictures. I kind of think these are okay, because the whole point of the fast was to limit pointless computer use, and both of these occasions had purpose - adding to a social setting, and working on a new hobby.

I have definitely noticed the impact of deprivation, though. For one, my workout program is completely derailed. The best time for me to workout most weekdays is the morning, while Bean sleeps or after his second feeding. But now those morning hours are precious internet time, especially Tuesday and Thursday, when my internetting effectively ends at 1:30 when I leave for work, because I get home after 8:00 pm. This is just one example of how computer use keeps me from doing the things that are good for me. And the silly thing is, as I've now realized, my "essential" internet activities don't actually take much time. I am able to check daily the sites I consider a daily read, and then some. I probably have time for the morning workouts, but compulsively displace it, until there's no time left.

I've also starting linking to pages on facebook much more often. I've always loved the linkshare function, but I'm positively abusing it now. I joked on Friday that it's because I'm afraid I won't come across anything else worthwhile before time is up, but of course that's nonsense. I think I'm trying to justify my internet use, trying to prove that I find and interact with fun and worthy things and people.

My love language is gifts - giving and receiving. I am a materially oriented girl (thanks, Madons). Showing off my web treasures is kind of like showing off my books on the shelf; I'm creating a virtual eLibrary. And I can give it away so easily, because that is the nature of the web. It's what makes community so easy. This fast makes me more aware of my place in that community, how important it is to me, what my role is. I miss the constant interaction with social sites the most - facebook in particular. I feel like, by missing status updates and pictures posts, I'm missing out on friends' lives. Anyway, I know I can make it through the rest of Lent, and probably discover more things about myself. For one thing, none of this has impacted my television use, yet.

Mama Bean posts links on Friday - February 26, 2010

I seem to be overcompensating for my internet deprivation by posting every remotely interesting link I come across, just in case I don't see another before my 6 pm time limit. So, not all of these are the most win the internet can offer, but they still caught my admittedly web-ADD eye.

-This video (found it on Conversion Diary) is for moms. It made Papa Bean and I think about our moms, when she gets to the empty nesting part. We're still at the very beginning of this journey, so it's hard to fathom we'll ever get through the things she describes.

-The woman who writes this blog travels the US with her husband and two young daughters in an RV. They previously lived with their eldest daughter in a tiny (382 square feet, or something like that) apartment, and documented it on flickr. I think I found the link from a design blog (?) Anyway, this particular entry is about a weekly simplifying they undergo, to find things they don't need and donate them. I am far too materialistic to do this weekly, but I really dig the sensibility of incorporating simplification as a routine. We already have so much stuff we don't need, and getting rid of it can feel truly purifying. Will ponder a less-than-weekly way to try this in our home. (This lady has also documented her journey with dreadlocks so compellingly, I briefly considered trying them, too.)

-New York Magazine article about ChatRoulette. Don't know anyone who's actually tried this yet. It feels like this was the inevitable next step in Web 3.0 or whatever version it is we're on. We're a fairly tech-savvy family (my ineptitude with cell phones notwithstanding) and I like to think of myself as an earlier-than-average adopter (don't have the financial means to be a truly early adopter) but I think my age shows in my reaction to this phenomenon, which is 25% intrigued, and 75% squeamed out.

-I like the premise behind this website more than I like the execution. It's a catalogue of falacious argument styles people (bigots) use to derail meaningful conversation about their prejudice. When you spend a lot of time on the internet, or even just on mommy blogs, you become familiar with the Flame Warriors, and derailment is their script of choice. I think I just enjoy reading pithy examples of the illogical commentary I often wade through professionally and religiously.

-Codeorgan makes a song out of URLs. The site worked fine for me, and this blog makes a thoroughly pleasant song on it. But it didn't work for a friend, so *shrug* attempt at your own risk of mild disappointment.

-So I guess there was this Superbowl commercial about guys and all the things guys have to endure. It's totally funny. Then there's this feminist spoof of it. It's also totally funny. Jack came to the same conclusion, "Both are funny because both are true. Men and women are different but the same. It's why we like and dislike each other. :)" Sandra also clarified the third wave of feminism seems to have lost steam, and some in the US are pushing for a fourth.

-In the serendipity that IS the internet, my next link also addressed feminism, from the perspective of a grandma who grew up during the 60s, and found the whole second wave more or less overwhelming and confusing. Her account of growing up really resonated with me for a variety of reasons that are too long to go into here, but I suspect many of my peers may feel similarly. (Which is the whole point of link love anyway, on facebook or otherwise; sharing things that strike a chord because we're sure they'll strike the same chord in those we've befriended.) Her blog, Like Mother, Like Daughter is an absolute jewel, and I repeatedly read bits of it out loud to Papa Bean. It's primary topic is not, in fact, feminism or even Catholicism. It's more of a domesticity and parenting blog. She has much wisdom, and I love the web for giving her a forum.

-Speaking of domesticity, I have saved the Very Best Link for last. This may, in fact be the Very Best Link of my whole life, because it (un)folds one of the deepest mysteries I have ever pondered, and brings profound inner peace to my linen closet. Judging by the reaction on facebook, I am not the only person who never understood How to Fold a Fitted Sheet. It's like the very light of Heaven beamed down on me in my living room, as I accomplished this Feat of Wonder for the very first time. Apparently L was blessed to have learned this from her mother, and Aunty E learned it from Martha Stewart. But I learned it from the internet, and for that I am eternally grateful. Excellent follow up tip from K: "I put the flat, fitted, and one pillowcase all inside the other pillowcase. Then I have a little bundle in the linen closet and I never lose the matching stuff." We're all little Marthas in our own way, aren't we? (Now there's a worthy treatise, the feminist implications of Martha Stewart...)

(A final aside: the blogger who created the Fitted Sheet Tutorial of Genius, Molly Piper is married to Abraham Piper, son of John Piper, who will feature in next Friday's Link Love. John Piper is a famous American pastor and author. His son has two interesting blogs. He and Molly have lived through the hell of a stillborn daughter. I find all of their various internettings very engaging, even if I don't necessarily subscribed to their particular niche of Christianity. The power of the internet, and all that yadda.)

Mama Bean thanks the other Mamas for the happy afternoon

We went to a breastfeeding clinic today, which is a terribly clinic-al name for it. The public health nurses host them every week in a few communities around the city. A PHN called me shortly after Bean's birth and sent me info about them, but I didn't really prioritize it. Mostly because, in the beginning, while breastfeeding was in fact a struggle, it was so much so that the idea of trundling him out and being around other humans felt impossible. And then, when we got a handle on the feeding, I didn't think I needed a clinic. See, it's a terrible name!

What really happens is a bunch of mom and babies hang out and chat. Babies get weighed, we sit in a circle, each mom introduces herself and her creature, and answers some theme-question from the PHN, and can ask any questions she's having (about breastfeeding, or otherwise), and everyone else puts in their two cents worth. It's very Friendly and Community and Enlightening. I am not the only one who wonders about the razor-nails! Lots of moms have one superboob which produces more milk than the other! Mastitis is wicked painful - thank goodness we haven't dealt with that particular battle yet!

I was pretty nervous about going. I'm not the best with new social situations, especially one centred around this mom-world in which I am still such a total n00b. I was scared of being judged. It was silly.

It was actually very interesting to see all the different moms. I was invited by a Big Momma (thanks, L!*) and this name has nothing to do with their physical size. These Mommas are all about big smiles, and big hearts. They are community minders - they Initiate. Initiate introductions, and conversations, and helping. This group has several Big Mommas, and they also have some of the older babies (6 months, and up) so they have lots of good experience and advice. Then there are mama-citas, little moms of little babies (seven weeks old!) and they look just as I imagine I would have looked like if I had braved such a meeting with seven week old Bean. I just wanted to smile and reassure them. Hug them. I needed hugs, during those Delirious Early Days. Some of the moms seemed like they're from California, tall and tan with smiling cherubim. I covet their jeans (and genes, the skinny ones!)

In all, a successful outing. And good advice for ditching the nipple shield, adding another feeding to help weight gain, and using chunky necklaces to distract from the clawing hands of razor-nicking.

*I didn't go to the group in my community, because I knew at this group, I would already know somebody. That was very good. I don't mind the extra drive.